Wednesday, January 11, 2012

announcing my candidacy for president (Poem)

i have decided to run for president

don't tell me i'm too young or have no experience
anyone who says that is an america-hating communist
or terrorist

did obama make it cool to call people communists again?
political trends are really fickle

for my first act i will abolish congress
and replace it with one thousand gorillas
typing on laptops

i will drag dead animals of various kinds
into meetings with foreign leaders
and use the dead animals to hit them in the face

i feel the flag no longer accurately reflects
the zeitgeist of america
so i propose a new design
which consists of a picture of a severed hand
flipping the bird and mounted on a giant cheesburger

vote for me, bitch

i'm ben a. and i approve this message
i also approve of giving illegal drugs to children
and driving drunk

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